Who'd be your ideal lead character?

Claude Morris

Age: 5-23

Hair: Spiky, short, Ginger Orange

Synopsis: At a young age he witnesses a battle between heaven and hell that decimates his hometown and kills his family and friends. After a period of survival in the wilderness he is found by a retired war hero named Mike Wallace, who raises and trains him in the arts of swordplay, womanizing, and minor racism. In his adulthood the world is in a deep recession, leaving the unlikely pair forced to do odd jobs such as hunting down beasts of ancient folklore or robbing a sperm bank, or saving children at an orphanage from being cooked alive by a cannibalistic chef. Claude is constantly thrusted into sticky situations thanks to Mike, who at this point is half demented and becoming increasingly bitter towards a world that has forgotten his heroic deeds and sacrifices. This bitterness becomes his weakness as Mikes eventually secumbs to the twisted temptations of Syphillis, divorced [sexist comment]-wife of the Devil, and begins breaking the seven seals of the Apocalypse. Claude sets out to kill his surrogate father, and in the process is decieved and used by a majority of those he comes in contact with, all the while parodying every typical JRPG convention.