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Script Rewrite (Second Draft) Underway_

#1
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Okay, guys.

I'm officially starting my second draft of the vanilla script.  I've finished most if not all of the exposition and main plot/character developments during my first draft.  It's still a little bit sloppy, but...
My second draft will focus on townsfolk dialog and side quest events.  I've contacted a friend of mine (been friends for 15 years) to edit the spelling and grammar after I'm done with my work, so I should be able to move on with the master draft pretty quickly afterward.  In fact, this may be my last draft.

I originally planned on starting from scratch and writing something that would be free from copyright law, but I've come to terms with the impossibility of a project like that.  My script relies on the Woolsey Uncensored and GBA script patches for the SNES rom.

A copy of the complete first draft will be included below.


Attached Files
.txt  FF6 First Draft Complete.txt (265.01 KB, 5 downloads)
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#2
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This is awesome! Laugh The clunky translation kinda turns me away from the original, but this is much better. I can tell you put a lot of hard work into it.
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#3
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Thanks for the feedback.
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Here's a selection of the script which centers around exposition.  I'll post the other exposition heavy moments (in revers order) soon.

Strago: I can't believe it! A monument to the Warring Triad!

Terra: The Warring Triad?!

Strago: There aren't many of these around anymore. After the war, most of them were destroyed.

Locke: I can make out faint letters carved on the back of each of them_

Locke:
_birth_
    _of_
    _mana_

Locke: What exactly are these statues, again?

Strago: They're statues of the Warring Triad. Each of them a master over one aspect of magic. White, Black, and also Red.

Strago: According to legend, these three gods alone are responsible for bringing magical power into existence!

Terra: So, they're the "gods of magic", then?

Strago: You could say that!

Terra: The espers, no doubt, must have come here so they could bask in all the Mana stored in this monument.

Strago: Their ancient struggle for control over raw elemental power drew the three of them into endless conflict.

Strago: The essential result of their violent war with one another gave birth to Mana itself.

Strago: After many ages had passed, they finally realized the futility of continuous warfare and agreed to seal themselves away_forever.

Terra: Could the barrier that protects the espers realm from ours be powered by this monument?

Strago: The stories tell us, their only request was that someone keep them hidden away for an eternity.

Strago: Beyond the reach of all those who sought to awaken them_

The Monument:

The dawn of magic_three gods descend from the heavens.

Fearing one another's wrath, they began competing for the vast amount of elemental power surrounding them in properties_

Firaja_ Thundaja_ Blizzaja_ Terraja_ Tempaja_

Those mortals caught amongst their fighting became espers and were forced to fight endlessly as slaves to the three.

Realizing their war begot naught but strife, the three, at last, agreed to seal away their strength.

With the last of their fading might, the three returned free will to those enslaved, then turned themselves to idle stone. The last words they spoke to the espers are writ_

"Never must we be woken."

In reverence to the three was this monument made and in prayer that their might would never again be stirred.
Let it serve as a warning to future generations of the three gods who once descended from the heavens.

Locke: Man, what a FIND!

Strago: Legend says that if one were to awaken these three gods from their slumber_

Strago: They would be granted unlimited access to raw elemental power until the end of time_

Strago: Together, the three of them represent power beyond all comprehension!

Terra: If the espers were drawn here due to the Mana stored in that monument, then they must be somewhere close by_
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Here's my second batch of exposition dialog, again, in reverse order.

???: She's frightened, you know?

"Who are you?"

Ramuh: This girl is your friend, I presume?

"Is she all right?"

Ramuh: Her life is in no danger. She simply used a power she didn't even know existed and it overwhelmed her.

Ramuh: Now her body isn't responding to her the way she expects it to!

Ramuh: As for me, I'm an esper. Some call me, Ramuh_

"You're an esper?!"

"But I thought espers lived in another realm?"

Ramuh: That doesn't mean we can't live in this one, too. Espers come in a variety of different forms.

Ramuh: My appearance is similar to yours, so I can live among you without having to worry about anyone discovering the truth.

"The war ended a long time ago. Why still hide yourselves?"

Ramuh: Humans and espers have difficulty coexisting. The burden seems too great for the two of us to bear.

"But my grandpa once told me that espers and people once lived side by side. Was that just a fairy tale?"

Ramuh: No, that was no fairy tale. It's true, we started out as friends.

Ramuh: Then along came the War of the Magi_

"The War of the Magi!"

Ramuh: Once humans discovered they could become infused with Mana extracted from a living esper_

Ramuh: They began to enslave us. Building a whole new technology around the manufacture of what THEY called Magitek.

Ramuh: For us, it meant a very slow and painful death_not one of our own choosing.

Ramuh: Fearing our lives would once again become the target of "Megitek Research", we fashioned a realm for ourselves_

Ramuh: And, migrated there after the war's end.

Ramuh: About twenty years ago, humans finally located the passage between our realms. They knew of us_and of the war.

Ramuh: They captured as many of us as they could. All for the sake of creating what they hoped would become an invincable army!

Ramuh: In response, we created a massive barrier between our realm and yours, separating the two completely.

Ramuh: Even as we speak, many of my kind are being held captive in your Magitek Research Facility.

Ramuh: Being drained of their Mana until death arrives for them_

Ramuh: A small group of us fled here to avoid such a fate.

Ramuh: She seems to have calmed down a bit_

Ramuh: I could sense that Terra had lost control of her body and summoned her here, as my kindred.

Ramuh: She responded accordingly_

"Terra's an esper?"

Ramuh: No, she's a bit different from us, it would seem.

"It looks like she's in pain."

Ramuh: Her very existence strikes fear into her own heart_that's why she suffers as she does now.

Ramuh: When she finally accepts this "new" aspect of herself, the fear and doubt consuming her body, like a fire, should subside.

"We have to do something for her!"

Ramuh: Many of my kindred are still enslaved at Vector's Magitek Research Facility. One of them may be able to help your friend.

"That's assuming we could even get to the facility."

Ramuh: I alone escaped their research facility and hid here like a coward, but I fear I can remain here no longer_

"What do you mean?"

Ramuh: The Empire's methods are incorrect. You can't drain a living esper of all its power.

Rumah: It's only when we choose to become Magicite that our abilities can be transferred completely.

"Choose_?"

Ramuh: The time has finally arrived. I must now choose to become Magicite so that I may lend my strength to you in total.

"Magicite_"

Ramuh: It's what becomes of us when we "die" as your people say. A metamorphose of raw elemental power.

Ramuh: These are my kindred who "died" while escaping The Empire.

Ramuh: And, I will give you my own elemental power, as well_becoming Magicite, forever.

"But why_?"

If our power is used for destruction, the skies will darken and all life will fade from this world. You must stop them_the War of the Magi must not be repeated.

"He gave up his life just to grant us his power_"

"Ramuh."

"Vector!"

"Terra_rest now, until we return."


And here's the last exposition-heavy moment for now.

Edgar: Banon, we've found her at last!

Banon: So, this is the girl who reacted with the esper back in Narshe?

Terra: _?

Edgar: It seems The Empire had complete control over her.

Banon: Several reports have brought word that she wiped out fifty of The Empire's elite soldiers within a few minutes.

Terra: That can't be true!

Edgar: Banon, for heaven's sake!

Banon: Hiding from the truth will always bring more trouble than revealing it, my dear.

Banon: We should never turn away from the safety it has to offer us all.

Banon: Perhaps you've heard this story before? Once, when people were pure of heart, each of us had a box we were told never to open.

Banon: But, one man - named Epimetheus - eventually opened his out of spite and all the evils of the world escaped from it at once.

Banon: Envy_ Pride_ Wrath_ Lust_ Greed_ Gluttony_ Sloth_

Banon: All that remained in his box was a single ray of light - Hope.

Banon: We now confront those same evils and you are this world's last "ray of light" - our only hope.

Edgar: BANON!

Banon: Please, excuse me, you must be tired.

Banon: Rest here for as long as you need.

Banon: Terra, talk to everyone here, heed their advice_

Locke: The Empire took away someone important from me not too long ago. I've hated them ever since.

Locke: I joined the Returners shortly after that incident and have been "turning the tables" against them every chance I get_

Locke: By taking things of importance from them, of course.

Terra: But, I have no one important to me - no family OR friends.

Locke: That's not true at all!

Locke: Besides, I'm sure there are people who feel you're important to them. They're counting on you!

Edgar: It's difficult to ask so much of you. If we push too hard and force our ideals on you, we're no different than The Empire_

Edgar: So, I want you to make up your own mind, alright?

Sabin: I don't know what to tell you, but I do know that you can trust my brother completely.

Sabin: He's always been fair and honest with me, ever since we were kids. You can trust him, too.

Sabin: Just don't DARE tell him I said that okay?!

Banon: Have you made a decision? Will you become our last "ray of light"?

Banon: Then it begins.

Terra: But, I_

Banon: The uncertainty you feel is only natural.

Banon: Please, Terra_I'd like you to have this.

Terra: What is it?

Banon: A lucky charm of sorts_

Received [Gauntlet!]

Banon: The time to act has arrived. Please, get everyone together in the main hall.

Banon: Everyone present_?

Banon: Then, let us begin.

Banon: We all know that Emperor Gestahl is using Magitek weaponry in battle. The question remains, how has he been able to create it?

Banon: Recently, I had Locke look into the rumor of Imperial research surrounding the Esperian Realm.

Banon: A land of dense mystical energy lost for an eon somewhere in the mountains East of Vector.

Locke: Yes, all our efforts finally lead us to Narshe and the esper discovered there - hidden away in the mines.

Banon: Correct_

Terra: Are you suggesting there's some connection between espers and Magitek?

Banon: Only ONE possible link comes to mind.

Edgar: You don't mean_

Banon: Indeed!

Banon: The War of the Magi!

*mumble*
*mumble*

Terra: _?

Edgar: And, how could a children's story like THAT return to haunt the likes of us?

Banon: It's just speculation, but historical studies have suggested a number of congruent and frightening theories.

Banon: According to one of them, humankind was once imbued with magical power, bestowed to them from allied espers, fallen in battle.

Terra: _
_ _ _

Edgar: If the theories you speak of have merit then the only way to fight the Gestahlian Empire is with Magitek weaponry at our disposal!

Banon: NO! That's how the War of the Magi is said to have started!

Edgar: What would you have us do then, old friend?

Banon: Perhaps_if we could communicate with an esper.

Terra: I_
_ _ _

Banon: By chance - if we allow Terra and the newly found esper
to react once again - it might just awaken.

Edgar: I wonder if that's wise_

Banon: What say you, my dear?

Terra: I'll do it!
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